WHAT.

STALKERRRRRR.





"Arnold!" "NOT NOW!" "Not now? Who the-"

XD Gerald.... lol

Helga/Arnold Bad Romance

*facepalm moment* It's really horrible to end a movie, WAIT, a series, too, with Arnold and Helga's relationship on edge. It has been revealed by the creator that there was supposed to be a "Hey Arnold: Jungle Movie", where they finally realize they love each other. SO ANGRY THAT THE MOVIE WASN'T FINISHED.

Oh, and even being an A/H shipper myself, that kiss was horrifying....

AT/HTF crossover part 1

"Hey, you hole! Let Wild-berry Princess go now!" The young adventure pulled out a glimmering sword. "Ha! There is no way you can stop me with such a puny weapon, Finn th-" Ice King was interrupted when Finn slashed the sword through his blue chest. "Stupid boy, I don't have a heart!" The single old man laughed. "Uh... Jake?" "No worries, Bro." Jake emerged from behind the Ice King. "Aw, who's puny now?" he taunted, punching the villain out cold. Finn unlocked Princess Wild-berry's ice cell, then said, "Let's all get out of here before Ice-doofus wakes up from his beauty nap." "Thank-you, Finn!" Wild-berry shrieked, and hopped onto Jake's back.
~ ~ ~
"Dude, I am pooped." Jake complained, as the two friends headed back to their worn-down tree house at sun down. "Ha ha, too much for you, wasn't it?" Finn laughed, nudging Jake with his elbow, even though he was tired, too. "No man, I'm just s-" "Shhh! Jake, can you hear that?" Finn asked. Silent for a second, the dog responded, "No." "Listen really closely." Hearing the background noises more intently now, Jake could make out unusual screaming coming from the woods. He shrugged. "So?" "So?! Somebody's in trouble! Get your act together, dude!" Finn exclaimed, darting through the prickly shrubs to find the source of the screaming. Jake sighed, then called "Alright, but you owe me a donut for this."
~ ~ ~
"It's coming from over here, Jake," Finn pushed so branches out of the way so he could see better. It was a small scarlet porcupine with white flakes in her quills, yelping at the skinny black crows that took turns pecking her. "Yow!" Jake said. "Yeah, I know. That poor animal is being tortured." "No, I mean, look at its hair! It really needs to use a better conditioner..." "Shut up," Finn snapped, lifting himself out of the bushes and shouting, "Hey! Leave it alone, would ya?!" Jake helped shoo off the birds, cawing into the sky. The 12 year old boy picked up the defenseless mammal. "Th-thank-you." she said softly. "Anything for you, um... you, hedgehog-thingy." Finn stammered. "I'm F-flaky," she introduced, giving them a lop-sided smile. "Yeah yeah, I'm Jake, and the kid is Finn. You got a home?" Jake asked. Flaky shook her head and fixed her gaze to the ground. "I-I was simply on an airplane ride, when we got into a horrible crash!" She started weeping. "I know that the pilot and most of the passengers are dead, but I think some of my friends may still be alive, since I haven't seen their dead bodies yet." "We'll help you find your friends," Finn told Flaky sympathetically. "Yeah, sure, but can't it wait until tomorrow?" Jake moaned. "Fine, you wuss. But Flaky gets to sleep in your bed tonight." Finn said.
~ ~ ~
"Uggh..." Flippy's vision was blurry. His body ached from the damage that the accident had on him. Finally able to see clearly, he stumbled upwards. He didn't recognize his surroundings... he was in a cave. Suddenly, a voice rose from behind him. "Hello, mortal... do you have any red on you, by any change?" He snapped his head towards the noise. A sexy vampire girl strutted out of the shadows. "No, I don't." Flippy told her. "Well, I haven't had a meal in days, and now you're here with fresh, ruby blood..." her lips moistened at the word. "I don't know what sick game you want to play, lady, but I'm not on the menu." he said. "You DARE refused to be sucked by me?" "That sounds so wrong..." "This is the only thing left of the last guy who didn't do what I said!" Marceline held up a beating heart, gushed out blood. Flippy growled. "I saw... so many organs in the war...!" he thought, his iris's changing to yellow-green. "Hm? What's this now?" the vampire chick smirked. Flippy's voice went deep. He scowled at the lady. "Where am I?" "Hey hey, cool the tone, tough-guy. I found you washed up at the beach, and decided to take you in. Now, is that such a bad thing?" Marceline flipped her long greasy bangs out of her eyes. Evil Flippy recoiled in disgust. "Don't you ever wash your hair, lady? You look almost as bad as that slutty girl that HE hangs out with..." he trailed off, his snarls bouncing off the cave walls. "It sounds to me like you wanna make out with this girl and have babies with her." "What?! No way, she's disgusting." Evil objected, sweat-dropping. But soon enough, his face expression turned cold. "Well, nice having a chat with you," he grumbled, breaking off a chip of the rocky cave wall, "but now, you'll have to die." Marceline raised an eyebrow. "I'm a vampire, stupid. I can't be killed... definitely not by a mere little bear like yourself." Veins popped out of his forehead. His face darkened to a red-like hue out of rage. "You wanna go, lady?!" Evil screamed. "Then let's go!"
~ ~ ~
"Your highness!" Peppermint Butler cried. Princess Bubblegum looked up from her science-fiction novel and sighed. She sat cross-legged on her sweet-smelling cotton candy bed. Her flowing hot pink hair was tied up in pony tails. "If it is Ice King requesting my hand in marriage, please tell him that he may go suck upon an-" "No, n-nothing like that. But it appears as though someone is eating the candy palace! There were quite large bite marks in furniture items downstairs." he explained. "Hm, I guess I shall investigate with you." Princess Bubblegum followed behind Peppermint Butler down the crispy chocolate stairs. She took notice of the walls, missing large edible chunks. When they finally reached the first floor, she winced. The whole palace had been half devoured. Her left eye twitched. "W-who did this?" she squeaked, not taking her eyes off of the damage. "I'm not sure, princess. I heard noisy chomping sounds, and I raced down here." Peppermint Butler said. "Don't worry, I will find out who's doing this..." she muttered, cracking her light pink fingers.
~ ~ ~
It was around midnight. Rain was pouring down on the land of Ooo. Flaky, obviously skittish by the roars of thunder, nervously scooted over to the window, intending to close the blinds, when two dark figures came into her blurry view, marching towards the battered home. One was slender and tall, possibly female, while the other was much more short. Panicking more than ever, Flaky rushed into Finn's bedroom, crawling up onto the mattress. "F-finn! There's someone outside!" the paranoid porcupine squealed, lightly shaking the boy, who was fast asleep. Drowsily, he opened his eyes. "Oh, hey, whatchya doing outta bed?" Finn asked, patting her head. "It was terrible! I l-looked out the window and saw s-strangers!" she cried. He sat up. "Strangers, huh? We'll deal with it. Jake, get up." Finn replied. Jake rolled over slightly on the carpet, muttering, "Just five more minutes, mommy." Picking up a pillow, Finn shouted, "Wake up, you lazy sack!" The fluffy head rest hit the dog in the stomach. He snorted. "What?" "Flaky says that there's someone outside, and you're coming with me to find out who." Finn explained. "Awww, I don't w-" Before Jake could finish, his friend grabbed his foot and dragged him downstairs.
~ ~ ~
Jake peaked through the window. "Man, I don't see any- WAHH!" "What???" Finn dashed to the window. "It... it's Marceline..." he answered, shuddering. "Marceline?" Finn repeated. "What could she possibly want?" The front door burst open, revealing the soaked vampire standing before them. Something followed behind her. Finn lit a candle and the room brightened. Marceline squeezed the water out of her hair and smirked. "Hello, weenies. I believe you have possession of something I want." "Um, what is that?" Finn asked, attempting to pry Flaky off his leg. Evil stepped out from Marceline's shadow and glared at Flaky. She squeezed Finn's leg tighter and began crying. Marceline's fangs grew an inch longer out of her mouth. "I want that delicious-looking red creature."

HTF-Random Tales

(NOTE: Just so you know, this is just a collection of random, inappropriate stories I put together in about an hour. ENJOY.)

Princess Flaky eyed the guillotine. Its blade sparkled, and it reflected her friend, entering the room with silver chains around his ankles. He stared at her, his facial expression saying "Why did you betray me, Flaky? I thought you were my friend..." Her heart ached with sorrow for the prisoner, moments away from being executed. The guards thrust his head on the wooden headrest , placing the neatly woven basket on the opposite side. Flaky sucked in her breath. "Any last words?" asked one of the guards. Flippy gave the maiden a glare as cold as ice, then sputtered out, "No." "Alright, then, ac-" "W-wait!" She pushed through the crowds, her long lime-green dress fluttering as she ran. Shifty arose from his thrown. "Who dares to interrupt- Flaky?" He exchanged puzzled glances with Queen Giggles. "Flippy did not commit any crime!" Princess Flaky cried. "D-don't kill him! Take me instead!" A voice echoed, "OH YEAAAH!", soaring from the audience. The citizens backed up to form a pathway. Disco Bear began strutting down the isle, then he moon-walked over to where the confused young girl was positioned. "I'll take you home, babe. Keep you nice and hot." He lightly blew on her neck, making the pink of Flaky's face clearly visible. "W-what???" "Hey, you're the one who said 'Take me instead', and indeed I will have s-" "Get outta here, Disco Bear. Nobody likes you." a random guard called out. "Same to you, pal. And at least my funky momma sends postcards to me from Europe!" "Um... that is a very l-large place... where in Europe does she live?" "I dunno, there is never a return address on the cards she sends me, but she says that she's in Europe, and that's what I'm gonna believe. Momma also said that she wanted my panties..." That sure shut the heck out of everyone. "I'M BACK, YOUNG ONE." The villagers twisted their heads to witness a furry brown bear with beady black eyes race down the crimson carpet to ultra-glomp Disco Bear. DB shoved Pedo-Bear off. "What the heck? Have you lost all yo disco balls?" "BALLS? HOORAY!" PB threw his arms up in the air, but he eventually put them back down to slap DB's butt. He flinched. "Child molester!" the "groovy king" shouted. "Aw, why does everyone have to use such hurtful terms? Just cause I have sex with little kids, it doesn't mean that I don't have feelings!" PB sobbed. "Who's the freakin idiot who let rapists into our castle?!" Queen Giggles howled. The rest of the guards looked at Lumpy, sweating like crazy under his heavy armor. Giggles, not impressed, announced, "Guards, let the peasant go. I think it's time we chop another head off..." Lumpy gulped. Flippy, after being let go, scurried off, yelling "I'M FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"
~
The sugar-crazed squirrel headed into his girlfriends' hose, noticing immediately that the living room was pitch-black. "Hoo-hoo, Hershey? You home sweetie?" he called, flickering on the lights. Nutty gaped in shock of what he witnessed. It was Hershey, wrapper-off, laying on top of a Kit-Kat bar. "What the... Hershey?! You're having sex with another man?!" he barked. No answer. "Well, let me just tell you, doing that on a living room couch is just... UNSANITARY!" Quiet again. "Hmph! I never wanted to have sex with candy, anyways." Nutty lied. He knew for a fact that he wanted it all his life. Suddenly, Evil Flippy popped out from behind a brown leather chair with a flamethrower in his grasp and awkwardly shouted "IMMA FIRIN' MAH LASER!" And then they all died.
~
The sweet baby bear looked up at his father with a saddened expression. "Papa," Cub whimpered, "Whatever happened to Momma?" Pop sighed, then folded up his newspaper. "Do you want to hear the truth?" Cub nodded his little head in response. "Well, okay... It started off when your mother and I got high at a bar, then your mother roamed off into the street without my awareness, so I thought that Splendid was your mom, and then we made out, and then he raped me, and when we were finally out of it, Splendid had a baby, and then your mom found out about it, and then she got all emo and moved to Las Vegas right after she gave birth to you, and then she shot herself in the head with a handgun. The end." Cub stared blankly at his father. But when he started to open his mouth, he was interrupted by Toothy wailing, "SPLENDID CHEATED ON ME?!"
~
Giggles and Cuddles were happily skipping, paw-in-paw, through the park one morning. Disco Bear happened to be jamming to 70's music on his iPod, until he laid eyes on Giggles, jumped off the park bench and called, "See you on Saturday, my love." Cuddles' eyes widened. "What?!" "Oh, y-you know. It's only Disco Bear talking nonsense." she stuttered. Passing by more trees, Lumpy followed after Giggles, saying "Hurr, be at my place at 7:00." Cuddles jerked his head around and gave the stupid moose a 'death glare'. Lumpy, suddenly skittish from the look, trudged away from the couple. The rabbit frowned. "So, you have plans at 7:00, now d-" "No! I d-don't." Giggles fibbed to her own boyfriend. "Fine." Cuddles muttered under his breath. Only about 1 minute later, the peach-colored chipmunk rammed into The Mole. She took his paw and pulled his up off the ground. "Sorry." Giggles apologized, blushing. "Oh, it's you, Miss Giggles. Hope you didn't forget about our date this Sunday." The Mole replied. Cuddles gawked at his crush. "Date?!" he exclaimed. He lead Giggles out of The Mole's earshot, then he whispered fiercely "Exactly how many guys are you dating??? 6?" "No... 7." Cuddles gasped, "Seven men?" Giggles nodded. "What can I say... I'm a dude magnet." On the other end of the park, Handy and Petunia were having an important conversation. The orange beaver looked straight at her. "I've got something important to say." "What is it?" asked Petunia, her eyes glimmering. "I just want to say that.... first of all, the fly to your jeans is down, and second, I'm in love with Russel, SUCKA!" And then the pirate and the handyman lived happily ever after. The end.

Crimson Remembrance Chapter Two

(Flippy's POV) Chapter Two: Victory at Last
My heart literally froze after that last thump. Panic flowed throughout my blood. I pulled out my walkie-talkie, cranking the volume knob down low. Crouching even more behind a mammoth black leather suitcase (most likely containing bombs of some sort), I squeaked through gritted teeth "I have a situation here." Static noises. Then, a deep voice. "What kind of situation?" "As in, I snuck into the General's tent to find his main source of weaponry, and I think he's waking up..." I explained in an instant, my throat drying up. "FLIPPY! You need to get out of there and fast!" Sneaky croaked from the receiver. Opening my mouth to answer, the sound of the tent unzipping interrupted me. Quickly, I shut the walkie-talkie down. "Sir, we have not yet seen any approach or attack from the enemy. The others and I are becoming suspicious of the lack of activity." a tiger soldier announced. Hearing the rocky soil crunch under their feet, I held my breath, praying to god that they wouldn't spot me. "Very well, then. But it's not like those simpletons can be planning anything too devious up their sleeves." the Tiger General grumbled, stumbling after his soldier out of the tent. A low growl rose up from my throat at the insult. My team and I aren't... simpletons! Seeing no indication that anyone was near the tent, I turning the walkie-talkie back on again. "You still there?" I asked. Silence. Suddenly, a rustle coming from the bushes. A shadow from outside appeared at the foot of the Commander's tent. I let out a small gasp. They were back already?! But it turned out to just be Sneaky... I smiled with relief. "Good, it's you. For a moment there, I could of sworn I was a goner!" "Yes, yes... now, let's get outta here!" His exclamation was followed by an explosion that bordered the camp grounds. With the floor vibrating beneath me, I screamed "Holy crap! What's happening?!" Escaping the tent after me, Sneaky snickered. "Mouse Ka-Boom was creating a distraction so that I cold bring you back." he replied. I grinned. "You guys are the best." "We wouldn't be anything without our commanding officer." Darting past the vine-wrapped trees and the mossy green bushes, soon enough we reached our required destination. Drenched in sweat, Mouse Ka-Boom tossed that last explosive device we had left. "Flippeh! We have run out of ze explosivees!" he exclaimed. "Everything?! Even the hand grenades?" I questioned. Sadly, his gaze went to the grass, letting a quiet "Oui." escape his lips. Stumped, I rubbed my chin, only to remember that I had kept a spare nuclear bomb in my bag just in case I needed it. Hauling it to the floor, I pulled the device out of my collection of belongings. My teammates huddled around me. "Genius, sir! We can wipe out the entire tiger army... that is, if we get them gathered up." Sneaky said. "Hm... and I think I might know a way." I told them. "But how, Flippeh?" Mouse Ka-Boom asked. "You think that a few workers from Duncan Donuts can fly out into a war zone to deliver something?"
~ ~ ~
"Really? Donuts?" Sneaky's slime-covered tongue slipped out of his mouth during the sentence. I gave him a stern glare. "Everybody likes donuts, riiiight?" "Well, I suppose so, but-" "Then don't question the donuts!" I snapped back. We set up the open boxes of jelly donuts right on our border, letting the tangy scent kcik in. We hurried back into the bushes and kept surveillance. "This isn't gonna-" "Shuddup, Sneaky." I hissed, keeping my eyes glued to the cardboard containers. And with little time passing, the tiger soldiers began accumulating near the food, munching on the gooey insides of the donuts. Throwing the final cargo into the back of my truck, I sputtered "Let's activate that bomb before they separate."I felt a tap on my shoulder. "Uh... Flippeh?" I turned, showing my annoyance. Mouse Ka-Boom nervously shifted his eyes to the large group of soldiers, followed by the General. "What is it?" I asked, carefully slicing off a tree branch that was blocking my view. "Uh... isn't that...?" My eyes grew wide with horror. Standing in the foreground, I could easily spot the one tiger that looked different; gigantic orange eyes with speckles of scarlet the covered nearly half of his face (and a scar reaching through the right one), weapons dangling from his belt, razor sharp fangs sticking out of his mouth, a long shirt with black sleeves that went down to his sharp claws. I'd recognize him from anywhere. From shock to impulsive rage, I lunged myself through the shrubs, just wanting a shot to rip his limb from limb, but my partners yanked me back. "Are you crazee?" "Yeah, what were you thinking?!" "I want to put him through the same kind of pain he did for me!" I barked, tears flooding my eyes. "Keep it down! And you shouldn't worry about revenge... he'll be dead once we trigger that bomb." Sneaky reassured me. "We need to get out of here so we can do it, though." "Y-you're right," I said shakily, sniffling. "Let's hop to it, men." Crammed inside the truck, I steered away as fast as my car could go. When we got far away enough, Mouse Ka-Boom took out the pump and chuckled. "I have alvays wantid to do dis!" he shouted, pushing down. The explosion was so loud, I thought it had busted my ear drums. Detached body parts flew, even all the way t0 where we were located. I took a deep breath, and saluted my team. "We... have finally defeated the tiger army." I announced, beaming with pride.
~ ~ ~
(Flaky's POV)
My suspicions arose when chunks of people started walking by my house, in the exact same direction. Keeping my guard locked, I joined the crowds outside, trying helplessly to get someone to explain what's going on. The words were in fragments, but little by little, I could piece together what the citizens were chatting about. "The tigers have lost at last, eh?" "Wonder what took them so long..." "I heard their leader, uh, Floppy or whatever, is moving here to Happy Tree Town!" "Aw man, that nut? From what I've heard, he's insane!" I frowned, confused past the limit. What was everyone talking about? Finally spotting yellow bunny ears towards the front, I shrieked "Cuddles!" He froze in his tracks and looked back at me. After a few seconds of running, I caught up to him. Grinning, he told me "The W.A.R. has ended! Our side won against the General and his army!" Cuddles pulled me into his warm embrace for a quick moment. I blushed a little, stammering "Th-that's fantastic!" Never before have I gotten that kind of affection. It felt... good. "Where are we going?" I replied. "The team of soldiers are receiving awards, and we're just going to the ceremony." He blinked. "Aren't you going?" "Oh, I don't think-" "Come on..." Cuddles groaned, nudging my arm. "Okay, okay, I'll do it." I always gave into him...
~ ~ ~
(Flippy's POV)
"Hurr, okay, settle down, folks." A tall sky blue moose said into a microphone. The racket from the audience ceased. "Now, give it up for the, uh, people dat granted us freeness!" A hand-less beaver with a construction hat on revealed himself and went over to the moose. "The proper word is 'freedom', Lumpy." he whispered, loud enough for me to make out. "Uh, yeah, free-dumb." He signaled for us to get on stage. Marching, I proudly lead the team across the stage to the wooden podium. 'Lumpy' handed me the mic. "Uh... hello. My name is Flippy, along with my soldiers, Sneaky and Mouse Ka-Boom." They both waved sheepishly to the crowd. "It was an honor for us to serve this town. Thank you." Claps of thunder came into earshot. As the beaver tried to pick up the medals to give us, clearly frustrated, I skimmed the audience, wanting to get a good look at everyone. A squirrel with a red bandanna over his eyes saluted to me. With a flick of the hand, I saluted back. There was a purple beaver with large back teeth and an autograph book in his clutches, a midnight-blue skunk fidgeting around with her Christmas tree necklace, a peach chipmunk cheering along with a yellow rabbit next to her... and that's when I spotted the battered-up porcupine cowering fearfully behind the rabbit.

Crimson Rememrance Chapter One

Chapter One: Brought to safety
(Flaky's POV)
Cold, lifeless sky hung above me. The dazzling night dancers seemed to have vanished. I laid low, for fear that they might find me. They have already had their fun. Beat me with their eyes closed. Pried the crinkled-up dollar bills from my dead paws. Just because I lack courage, they think I'm some kind of scrawny weakling. Which I am. I felt my right eye swell and throb. Bruises ran up and down my body, not too visible against my tattered scarlet fur. A deep slash cut through the tissue at the side of my mouth. I tried to swab up the blood with the back of my hand, only to have it dripping down my chin. My arms and shoulders ached with pain, resulting from the many times they had slammed me against the dark brick alley walls. A light chime continued to ring in my ears, most likely from their screaming "Dance for us, you weak little slut!" Their taunts made my insides sting. "My other girl friends had never been abused like I have... why? How is it that I'm their target? I never did anything to deserve what I have already gone through..." I questioned, particularly to no one. An eerie crackle erupted from the sky. White strikes of lightning emerged out of the charcoal clouds. In an instant, rain began pouring down over the small town. Racing past the thick maple trees, I scanned the area for shelter from the storm. Strong gusts of wind swept away the numerous dandruff flakes from my flowing red-violet quills. With one accidental trip, I slid across the muddy grass, scraping my skin as I rubbed against the cement sidewalk. My bones trembling from the stinging cuts, I pushed myself up and limped onwards to what I believed was safety. "Breathe in and out, breathe in and out..." I instructed myself calmly, and obeyed the directions. I squinted past the horizon, and there it was. "I'm safe!" Within at least 20 feet, there was a tree-shaped house, lights blurring from the windows. The fat branches swayed with the breeze, and the rainwater flooded out the beautiful little garden that surrounded the doorsteps, but I ended up deciding that it seemed like a sturdy place to stay against the rowdy weather outside. I stomped up the doorsteps and pounded my fists against the soggy wooden door, shouting "Please, help me!" at the top of my lungs. Hearing dainty footsteps, the door creaked open. A slender female squirrel laid eyes on me and gasped, "You poor thing!" She pulled me inside and sat me down on a brown leather chair that faced the smoky fireplace. "You must be freezing!" Giggles' mother said sympathetically, draping a fuzzy olive blanket over my shoulders. "I'll make some tea," she told me before throwing on her apron and heading into the kitchen. I tilted my head back, then took a whiff of the toasty smell of burning bark from the fireplace ride up my nostrils. My vision cleared up, I let my eyes explore the contents of the cozy room. Old family photos hung on the rough walls. I heard the TV blaring from the next room. I observed the collections of knick knacks displayed on dusty bookshelves. I had known Giggles for a long period of time, but we weren't close enough friends to be inviting each other over to our own houses. Her mom returned moments later with a silver platter, carrying the steaming porcelain cups of tea. Her lips curled into a friendly smile. She handed me my tea. I took notice of the rose petal designs on the sides, shakily rising the cup up to my dry mouth and taking large gulps, letting it burn my throat. An expression of concern arose on the young woman's face. "How did you end up this way, dear?" she asked politely. " I was a-attacked when this group of guys pulled me into an alley n-next to the local market. They beat me, then stole my m-money." I stammered in response. Her eyes widened with shock. "Oh my...!" she cried out. "Giggles, come here, please!" Hearing her mother's call, the peach squirrel steeped into the doorway, tightening her bow. "Yes, mo- ...Flaky?" Puzzled, Giggles stared at me, her pacman eyes practically bulging out of her furry head. "What happened?" "She'll explain that later, sweet heart. Please go fetch this unfortunate sole some bandages and a hot wash cloth." she told her daughter. Gazing into my eyes, she reassured me with a small grin "We'll help you get better, Flaky. Don't you worry." I raved their generosity greatly. Giggles rushed back with the supplies that she had retrieved and put it in the possession of her mom. "Hold still..." she muttered, pressing the damp cloth against my wounds. I shut my eyes and sighed with content. The tingle of warm water on my skin made me feel a rush of exhilaration course throughout my veins. The gauze wrapped around my battered-up arms and legs, transforming me into a porcupine-mummy. Snuggled up in warmth, I let one eye pop open to see Giggles and her mother drowsily treading off to bed. "There's a guest room unoccupied down the hallway. Wake me up if you require any more service." she yawned, closing the door to her bedroom. I gathered the blanket in my arms and scurried past the guest room doorway. The floorboards screeched with every step. Flipping on a switch, a lamp flickered on, brightening up the entire room and bouncing off the maroon-colored walls. Sleepily, I stripped the covers off of the mattress and laid myself down, pulling the blanket over my head. Blindly, I pressed down on a side button next to the light-bulb and the light flashed off once again. Oh, how I longed for deep sleep fantasies to play in my head, it's the only way to escape my nightmare of a life...
~ ~ ~
I awoke to the beams of morning sun, welcoming me to another crappy day. My knotted up stomach moaned, as if begging for something to eat. Smoothing out the ruffled blanket (and covering up the evidence that I slept there), I strode down the hall, every once in a while catching a glimpse of the other rooms with their doors half-opened.While not hearing a peep from my hosts, it occurred to me that they may have left a little earlier. I searched for a fresh pile of stick notes and something to write with on a desk in the office parallel to my room, and ended up discovering them by a brand new computer in the process of being hooked up. Its black screen glimmered in the light, smudge free. The key board was clear of grimy food stains, hairs, or any other kind of sticky drink that got spilled while typing. "Hmph, at least they can afford this kind of technology. Meanwhile, I'm scraping for pennies!" I told myself, envy boiling deep inside of me. Picking up a Number 2 pencil in my light grasp, I wrote:
I appreciate your efforts to nurse me back to health and give me shelter. But alas, I will not take advantage of your kind offer, and will be heading home, now. Thank you very much!
Sincerely, Flaky
After dotting all of my 'I's with hearts, I carefully peeled off the crisp sticky note and stuck it onto the shiny frame of the monitor. Shutting the front door behind me, I hummed "Off to home I go..."